Whether You Are At Home Or At Work, You’ve Got Personality

Posted by: Gail VanKleeck  |  Date: 05/6/2014

Whether you are at home or at work, You’ve Got Personality!

My name is Dr. Nancy Zare and I’m a certified trainer and coach with a revolutionary personality system called B.A.N.K. One of the things I like best about what I do is that I can help people communicate more effectively.  When I hear the word Home, I think of relationships and of my parents and siblings, who were the first people with whom I related. Later my relationships expanded to include extended family, members of my religious community, and school teachers and students.

B.A.N.K. is one of many systems for understanding personality styles.

Since the era of Hippocrates, scientists have theorized that there are 4 dominant temperaments. You may be familiar with the DISC profile, or Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory, or those that use colors, shapes, or animals. If you think of personality as a block of wood, there are different ways to cut it into four pieces such as vertically, horizontally, and diagonally. So while these personality systems all wind up with 4 types, the systems themselves are very different.

Knowing that people have different dominant styles can remove the “sting” from comments and behaviors that otherwise might make you wince.

This is because personality systems explain the situation so both parties can appreciate their differences without concluding that the other person is “bad” or “wrong”. When an individual realizes that their partner is acting in a way that is true to their dominant type, they can develop more tolerance and understanding. They can let the culprit off the hook, so to speak!

Personality styles are double-edged swords. On one side is a list of admirable virtues; on the other side, challenging traits and characteristics.

While we each contain all 4 styles in different proportions,  one style tends to be our dominate style, especially when we are under stress.  With determination, information, and persistence, your personality style can develop over time and actually morph into another type. For example, a highly driven executive who pursued material things at any cost was changed by a serious, life-threatening health episode. As a result, the person became more family-oriented, less excitable, and later sought to do charitable work.

 While it is fascinating to learn about yourself through these personality systems, the real value is in applying them to communication.

The most successful communicators are those individuals who shift their style to match that of the other party. Like a chameleon that takes on the color of its immediate surroundings, these people pick up verbal and mostly non-verbal clues about the other person. They have “learned” this skill through experience. Yet, often they cannot articulate what they did. The result is a feeling that “the other person is LIKE me”.

The bottom line is that most people prefer to talk and do business with individuals who are like themselves.

When you learn about personality styles, particularly the one that is dominate in your partner, you will have taken a big step towards improving communication and increasing your ability to influence a situration. Whether it’s asking your child to do homework, your spouse to do chores, or a colleague to help on a project, the more effectively we can speak the language of the other person’s style, the more likely we are to influence them and their point of view.

Nancy Zare, Ph.D., is a Certified Trainer and Coach with B.A.N.K.

You can “crack” your personality code without charge by going to www.playbankcode.com/#/ibo/nancy.

To attend a free webinar where you can learn more about B.A.N.K. contact her at nancy@bankwithnancy.com or call 508-981-2315.

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